I Decide Where EVERYTHING Goes

I mentioned in "The Catalyst" that Mikey sat me down and lectured me about how he understands that I want everything to have a place, but, "It's not up to YOU to decide where EVERYTHING goes!"

This is one of many things he said that night in which he is full of shit. And I dwelt on this claim for many days following. One day, I even took a walk throughout the whole house, looking at each individual item and recollecting how it was decided that this particular item would be put in this particular place.

The answer, honestly, was nothing. Everything that had been placed in a certain spot in the house was either decided by him and him alone (such as his bookshelf and the drawer the Ziplock bags and aluminum foil are kept), or, for the most part, everything that was placed in this house, we discussed and decided together where they would be placed. Ironically, though, everything that we discussed the placement of, even after the discussion, it wound up being placed where Mikey suggested it should go.

The only thing that was placed where I wanted it to be placed is the drum set. Mikey suggested we place it in the media room. I suggested we place it in the front room. The media room is small. Front room has more room, ventilation, and places for people to sit, watch, listen, or even have a jam session. After a discussion of this, Mikey agreed to put the drums n the front room.

A few days after The Catalyst occurred, Mikey was, again, yelling at me for putting the XBOX controllers out of his immediate reach: on the other side of the couch in the nightstand. And again, he brought up the issue of where things in the house are place. And he emphasized that I can't keep deciding where "EVERYTHING" should be placed.

For once, I yelled back at him: "Okay, you keep saying that I can't decide on my own where EVERYTHING goes. What is this "everything" you speak of that I decided on my own where it all should go?"

I looked at me, angrily and confidently and said, "THAT!" as he pointed to the front door. By the front door, I had placed my shoes. 2 pairs of sneakers, my "nice shoes," and my flip flops (4 pairs of shoes total). Albeit, they were neatly lined up and very organized-looking. Just as I intentionally placed them.

You've got to be kidding me! These last few days you've continuously told me that I have been single-handedly deciding where EVERYTHING in this house should be placed. And this whole time you're talking about my shoes and that's IT?

Funny thing is, though. We both decided that we should put our shoes by the front door. The reason for this, we discussed, is that it's a nice carpet, and we want people to take their shoes off before coming into the house, including ourselves. If we took our shoes off and placed them by the front door, people would see that and automatically just know to take their shoes off without us having to ask. Additionally, every house I have been into my entire life where people want everyone to take off their shoes at the front door, all the shoes in the house are kept by said front door. Sometimes it's messy and tacky, sometimes it's neat and organized.

I told this to Mikey. And he said, "Yeah well I just meant for us to only have one or two pairs of shoes there fore people to see so they'd see that's where shoes go and for them to take them off. It's not a storage place for all your shoes!"

And it's funny how if I'm arguing with him, and I have some kind of Freudian slip, or I say something wrong by accident, and I go back to correct myself, he'll latch on to what I originally said. Then he'll say, "Yeah well you said this first" and instead of arguing the important point at hand, he'll attack me for "changing my story". Then the argument will become about that instead of the actual issue at hand. It's a distraction method. And I'm starting to notice that he only does this when he's backed himself into a corner and senses he's losing the argument.

I, however, understood immediately that his emphasis on the word "everything" was an overestimation. A hyperbole that he didn't mean literally. Though maybe I shouldn't have, I took the high ground and didn't resort to his method of arguing in latching on to his word, "everything" and cut him down for that. I should have though. Because I haven't decided where everything in this house should go. On the contrary, I've decided on nothing. It's all about him and it's constantly about how he wants to do it.